Why is Date Night important in a FIFO Relationship?
Keeping date night alive is essential to maintaining a strong, healthy and loving relationship. I feel date nights are essential to all types of relationships, couples who have been together for a long time and couples with children. However, after a decade of being a FIFO wife and working with many FIFO couples, it is essential for couples who are separated by work to make time for their relationship. Why? Because we don’t have face-to-face interactions with our partners to stay connected daily. We all want and need to keep our love tanks full, or better yet, have them overflowing, so that our time apart is more bearable.
Many couples come to me because they have found themselves falling out of love and falling into dangerous territory. However, in my 27-plus years of marriage and professional career working with couples, it’s not as easy to fall out of love when you spend quality time together. Date night keeps a relationship fun and joyous, providing a healthy balance with difficult times. Date night is a proactive way to continually create feel-good moments that help to keep a healthy solid connection.
It also stops you from using your R&R (together) time trying to reconnect but instead allows your relationship to flow, keeping your love tanks full. Dates night gives you new things to talk about when apart, keeping the lines of communication alive. And we all know how important communication is in a FIFO relationship.
Date Night Brings Back the Spark and keeps the Fire burning while apart!
For me, date night would take me into another world and remind me that I am a wife and not just a FIFO wife or mum of 3 trying her hardest to keep our household running smoothly. Date night ignites the sparkle in my eyes and in my heart. It gives me something to look forward to every R&R.
It makes the countdown exciting and helps me remember those beautiful feelings of our courtship days.
We often forget that a relationship needs to be nourished, and keeping all those feelings of love alive is an opportunity and the responsibility of both of you. You can’t just stop doing everything you used to do when you were courting and expect your relationship to stay strong and exciting. Your relationship needs constant nourishment emotionally, spiritually and sexually.
For many of us FIFO families, R&R is family time. But as a mum of 3, I would find myself longing for Fly-In Day, as I knew there was some much-needed downtime for me, for us. The heart of a strong family is a strong marriage/relationship where couples prioritise each other. Relationship/couple time is different from family time, so ensure that every R&R has a portion of family time and couple time.
Emotional intimacy and connection grow through regular date nights, it’s the fuel that makes you and your partner feel loved, cherished and desirable, especially while apart. Date night is not optional for FIFO couples who want to stay close and connected.
Date Night is Emotional Foreplay for a FIFO Relationship…
Date night grows the emotional connection between couples, allowing all those days apart to wash away any feeling of disconnect FIFO has created. It is an essential part of emotional foreplay, which many women need to feel close to their partner and stop them from feeling lonely in their FIFO relationship. This emotional closeness makes it easier for her to move from feeling emotionally intimate to wanting to be physically intimate long after the fly-in day has faded.
It is essential not to have “string attached” to your date night as this will lead to disappointment and undo all the wonderful positive feelings your date night has created. Nobody wants to feel as though they are being “wined and dined” because of something that is expected in return. Just enjoy each other and focus on building your connection. And your time together will take care of itself! (wink wink)
Just Enjoy Each Other – Some of my favourite dates were when we would put the kids to bed a little early and snuggle up on the lounge watching a movie, or we sat outside with a few drinking and chatting away as if the distance of FIFO never existed.
Whether your date nights are an evening dinner date, a lunch date during the week, or even just time spent together after the kids are in bed, this time is gold and sacred.
If you are not having at least one date when on R&R, now is the time to start adding a little emotional foreplay to your relationship by booking a date night or two. Whatever you decide to do on your dates, just enjoy each other and reconnect with WHY you dated and fell in love with each other in the first place.
