Why is date night important in a relationship?
Why is Date Night important in a FIFO Relationship?
Keeping date night alive is essential to maintenance a strong, healthy and loving relationship. I feel date night’s are important to all types of relationship, couples who have been together for a long time and couples with children. However after a decade of being FIFO wife and working with a number of FIFO couples it is essential for couples who are separated by work to make time for their relationship. Why, because we don’t have the face to face interactions with our partner to stay connected on a daily bases. We all want and need to keep our love tanks full, better yet have them over flowing, so that our time apart is more bearable.
Many couples come to me because they have found themselves falling out of love and falling into dangerous territory. However in my 27 plus years of marriage and professional career working with couples, it’s not as easy to fall out of love when you are spending quality time together with each other. Date night keeps the fun and positive times in a relationship which provides a healthy balance with the difficult times. Date night is a proactive way to continually create feel good moments helps to keep a strong healthy connection.
It also stops you from using your R&R (together) time trying to reconnect but rather allows your relationship to flow, keeping your love tanks full. Dates night gives you new things to talk about when apart, keeping the lines of communication alive. And we all know how important communication is in a FIFO relationship.
For me date night would take me into another world and remind me that I am a wife and not just a FIFO wife or mum of 3 who is trying her hardest to keep our household running smoothly. Date night ignites the sparkle in my eyes and into my heart. It gives me something to look forward to every R&R.
It makes the countdown exciting and helps me remember those wonderful feelings of our courtship days.
We often forget that a relationship needs to be nourished and keeping all those feelings of love alive is an opportunity and the responsibility of both of you. You can’t just stop doing all the things you used to do when you were courting and expect your relationship to stay strong and exciting. Your relationship needs constant nourishment emotionally, spiritually and sexually.
For many of us FIFO families R&R is family time. But as a mum of 3 I would find myself long for Fly In Day, as I knew there was some such needed down-time for me, for us. The heart of a strong family is a strong marriage/relationship where couples make each other a priority. Relationship/couple time is different from family time, so make sure that every R&R has a portion of family time and couple time.
Emotional intimacy and connection grows through regular date nights, it’s the fuel that makes both you and your partner feel loved, cherished and desirable, especially while apart. Date night is not optional for FIFO couples who want to stay close and connected.
Date Night is Emotional Foreplay for a FIFO Relationship…
Date night grows the emotional connection between couples, allowing all those days apart wash way any feeling of disconnect FIFO has created. It is an important part of emotional foreplay, which many women need in order to feel close to their partner and stops her from feeling lonely in her FIFO relationship. This emotional closeness makes it easier for her to move from feeling emotionally intimate to wanting to be physically intimate long after fly in day has faded.
It is important not to have “string attached” to your date night as this will lead to disappointment and will undo all the wonderful positive feeling your date night has created. Nobody wants to feel as though they are being “wined and dined” because of something that is expected in return. Just enjoy each other and focus on building your connection. And your time together will take care of itself! (wink wink)
Just Enjoy Each Other – Some of my favourite dates were when we would put the kids to bed a little early and snuggle up on the lounge watching a movie or we sitting outside with a few drinking chatting away as if the distance of FIFO never existed.
Whether your date nights are an evening dinner date or a lunch date during the week, or even just time spent together after the kids are in bed — this time is gold and sacred.
If you are not having at least one date when on R&R now is the time to start adding a little emotional foreplay to your relationship by booking a date night or two. Whatever you decide to do on your dates, just enjoy each other and reconnect with your WHY you dated and fell in love with each other in the first place.